Monday, September 24, 2012

Compassion On The Other Side of Mourning

St. Francis Church, Fair Oaks, California, Sunday, September 23, 2012

Text: Mark 9:30-37

Spirit of the Living God Fall Fresh on Me!  Congregations Repeats

In the Gospel the disciples argued over whom was the greatest as nobody wanted to be last, indeed the least.  Jesus responded, “Whoever wants to be first must be last of all and servant of all”. Restated the one who wants to be first must have the experience of being last. We learn the grace of humility and compassion at its deepest and most transformative levels when we have had an experience of being last.

My preaching these last few weeks has been very intentional. Through building block themes I have wanted to give you confidence in the journey you have been on, the journey we are beginning and the journey ahead.

On Sunday, September 9 I invited you to join me on a journey where we honor God’s time and resist any sense of urgency about having to name where we are going or why.  That sermon was titled, “Spirit of God: Lead Us Towards Your Feast”. Last Sunday building on my first sermon, I invited you to literally do less, so that in time we might do more with greater joy. We do less so that we might spend more time listening to the Spirit of God who is leading us on our shared journey. 

Today I want to leave you with the sense that there has been a coherent sense of purpose and direction in all you have done throughout your history, including over the last decade. 

I want to affirm for you that even in the midst of a variety of ministerial disruptions including the death of a rector you have continued with a stable unity and singleness of purpose.  As I read today’s Gospel through the lens of your history I see a congregation who has for quite some time been going through a process of being prepared for something else.  In your individual and corporate losses you no doubt have had a sense at times of going from being a vibrant parish to the feeling of something much smaller, maybe sometimes even feeling less than who you were before. 

This morning’s Gospel is addressed to you.  The first must be last.  It is my sense that as a congregation you are being prepared to be first in a new and different way.  It is my sense that on the other side of this congregation’s mourning and grief you are being taught another, even deeper level of compassion.  In time this experience of compassion will offer clarity for your future purpose and the mission of St. Francis Church.  St. Francis’ future must necessarily be connected to a mission that complements your congregation’s signature gifts and bring long-term viability.

With this awareness that I have just outlined for you, let me now try to unpack the Good News for us in today’s Gospel.

The Beatitudes are an excellent place for us to turn to be reminded of where we might gain a firsthand experience of being the last. The Beatitudes experiences of being last include:  the poor, those who mourn, the meek, those who hunger and thirst and the
Persecuted.

In Jesus’ logic, those who mourn are comforted. It is also true that the comforted know how to comfort through the compassion they have experienced.

Jesus wants St. Francis to continue to learn from your experience of mourning so the quality of your compassion may grow. 


When I was studying to be a Jesuit priest we were sent to a place where we could not speak the language.  I was sent to the Dominican Republic.  A fellow Jesuit who spoke fluent Spanish was sent to Belize where they speak French.  We along with others were sent with very little money in our pockets.  We lived with a poor family of little means.  We were not allowed to introduce ourselves as Jesuits.  Our superiors knew that if we were known as Jesuits than we would be treated very well because of who we were. 

The Jesuit tradition behind this pilgrimage formation was that we were to have an experience of being poor.  Our Jesuit superiors did not want us to theorize about poverty, but rather have a firsthand experience of being poor.  The formation we received was so that as priests we would more passionately serve the poor.  With the Jesuit pilgrimage as an example of a formation process,  in what way is this congregation being prepared to be first through an experience of being last? 

What has your mourning and loss taught you about compassion?

Several of you have already told me that there has been a lot of healing going on here at St. Francis over the last few years.  Behind all this healing are experiences of suffering.  Healing and suffering go together.  In your mourning you have comforted each other.  In an even deeper and more profound way you have been growing in the depth of your appreciation for the spiritual gift of compassion.

It was striking for me to learn that in the spiritual gifts group every person who took the spiritual gifts questionnaire had among many other gifts the gift of mercy.  It would be wonderful for all members of this congregation to have the experience and opportunity to go through this spiritual gifts discernment process.  It is a ministerial priority of mine to find ways for all of you to have the opportunity to discern your spiritual gifts.  It is my very strong suspicion that these few women in the congregation who already completed the spiritual gifts questionnaire are not alone but probably joined by many of you who also have the gift of mercy and compassion. 

It is amazing to me the way many of this congregation’s ministries are easily understood through the lens of compassion.  It is not unusual for Episcopal congregations to be compassionate.  The people of St. Francis are compassionate in a distinctive manner.  As a congregation in the past and still today you have always prioritized those who society has often forgotten.

The red wagon brought cheer to children in the hospital.

The Quilts of Valor bring joy and pride to veterans not often enough celebrated for their service.

Clearly compassion has played a major role in your outreach and also in your history in community with each other.  This week one member told me a wonderful story about Louise Bittle.  In one Maundy Thursday service past, this member recalled the way Louise washed and then kissed Irv’s hands. 

This memory of Louise symbolizes for me the simplicity and sanctity of compassion rendered to another, to those we know, like Louise’s beloved spouse, Irv, and also to those who are strangers, like those who receive the quilts of valor.  Compassion sometimes is about the simple act of touching one another through the healing touch of Christ and providing for the needs of others.

Some forms and expressions of compassion are counter-intuitive.  For example one form of compassion is the healthy setting of our emotional and care-giving boundaries.  I first learned this taking care of my mother who had Alzheimer’s for eleven years.  Care-givers often give to others out of their grief.  I learned to differentiate between my insatiable need to care for versus my mother’s actual needs.  Persons with Alzheimer’s present enough care needs without our adding our need to do more. In learning this I was able to sustain myself for the eleven years of caring for her with my brothers and sisters. 

During my six years of consecrated religious life I lived with some men who were alcoholics. In those years I learned the necessity of setting healthy boundaries for myself and also for my vulnerable brothers in Christ. Only then was I able to exercise self-discipline and honor my brothers through setting clear boundaries that my brothers could not set for themselves. 

I know you each could tell your own stories of the way you too have compassionately set healthy care-giving boundaries. Whoever wants to be first must offer compassion in these ways to serve a completely dependent mother with Alzheimer’s, vulnerable alcoholics and so many more needy. Sometimes to be effective compassionate ministers, we need to take care of ourselves.

As you see compassion is a demanding ministry that requires both love through both the simple ministry of presence and sometimes a ministry of absence through self-discipline.  As the Gospel teaches today, in order for us to be first we must go through these experiences of being last and learn to be even more compassionate.

It is too early to know for certain, but I have an intuitive sense that compassion in all of its richness and blessing will contribute in some significant way to this congregation’s viability through a new signature ministry. To live into the next form of St. Francis Church’s ministry, we must stay open and continue to learn from each other through the spirit and fruits of compassion. 

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