Compassion On The Other Side of Mourning

St. Francis Church, Fair Oaks, California, Sunday, September 23, 2012

Text: Mark 9:30-37

Spirit of the Living God Fall Fresh on Me!  Congregations Repeats

In the Gospel the disciples argued over whom was the greatest as nobody wanted to be last, indeed the least.  Jesus responded, “Whoever wants to be first must be last of all and servant of all”. Restated the one who wants to be first must have the experience of being last. We learn the grace of humility and compassion at its deepest and most transformative levels when we have had an experience of being last.

My preaching these last few weeks has been very intentional. Through building block themes I have wanted to give you confidence in the journey you have been on, the journey we are beginning and the journey ahead.

On Sunday, September 9 I invited you to join me on a journey where we honor God’s time and resist any sense of urgency about having to name where we are going or why.  That sermon was titled, “Spirit of God: Lead Us Towards Your Feast”. Last Sunday building on my first sermon, I invited you to literally do less, so that in time we might do more with greater joy. We do less so that we might spend more time listening to the Spirit of God who is leading us on our shared journey. 

Today I want to leave you with the sense that there has been a coherent sense of purpose and direction in all you have done throughout your history, including over the last decade. 

I want to affirm for you that even in the midst of a variety of ministerial disruptions including the death of a rector you have continued with a stable unity and singleness of purpose.  As I read today’s Gospel through the lens of your history I see a congregation who has for quite some time been going through a process of being prepared for something else.  In your individual and corporate losses you no doubt have had a sense at times of going from being a vibrant parish to the feeling of something much smaller, maybe sometimes even feeling less than who you were before. 

This morning’s Gospel is addressed to you.  The first must be last.  It is my sense that as a congregation you are being prepared to be first in a new and different way.  It is my sense that on the other side of this congregation’s mourning and grief you are being taught another, even deeper level of compassion.  In time this experience of compassion will offer clarity for your future purpose and the mission of St. Francis Church.  St. Francis’ future must necessarily be connected to a mission that complements your congregation’s signature gifts and bring long-term viability.

With this awareness that I have just outlined for you, let me now try to unpack the Good News for us in today’s Gospel.

The Beatitudes are an excellent place for us to turn to be reminded of where we might gain a firsthand experience of being the last. The Beatitudes experiences of being last include:  the poor, those who mourn, the meek, those who hunger and thirst and the

Persecuted.

In Jesus’ logic, those who mourn are comforted. It is also true that the comforted know how to comfort through the compassion they have experienced.

Jesus wants St. Francis to continue to learn from your experience of mourning so the quality of your compassion may grow. 

When I was studying to be a Jesuit priest we were sent to a place where we could not speak the language.  I was sent to the Dominican Republic.  A fellow Jesuit who spoke fluent Spanish was sent to Belize where they speak French.  We along with others were sent with very little money in our pockets.  We lived with a poor family of little means.  We were not allowed to introduce ourselves as Jesuits.  Our superiors knew that if we were known as Jesuits than we would be treated very well because of who we were. 

The Jesuit tradition behind this pilgrimage formation was that we were to have an experience of being poor.  Our Jesuit superiors did not want us to theorize about poverty, but rather have a firsthand experience of being poor.  The formation we received was so that as priests we would more passionately serve the poor.  With the Jesuit pilgrimage as an example of a formation process,  in what way is this congregation being prepared to be first through an experience of being last? 

What has your mourning and loss taught you about compassion?

Several of you have already told me that there has been a lot of healing going on here at St. Francis over the last few years.  Behind all this healing are experiences of suffering.  Healing and suffering go together.  In your mourning you have comforted each other.  In an even deeper and more profound way you have been growing in the depth of your appreciation for the spiritual gift of compassion.

It was striking for me to learn that in the spiritual gifts group every person who took the spiritual gifts questionnaire had among many other gifts the gift of mercy.  It would be wonderful for all members of this congregation to have the experience and opportunity to go through this spiritual gifts discernment process.  It is a ministerial priority of mine to find ways for all of you to have the opportunity to discern your spiritual gifts.  It is my very strong suspicion that these few women in the congregation who already completed the spiritual gifts questionnaire are not alone but probably joined by many of you who also have the gift of mercy and compassion. 

It is amazing to me the way many of this congregation’s ministries are easily understood through the lens of compassion.  It is not unusual for Episcopal congregations to be compassionate.  The people of St. Francis are compassionate in a distinctive manner.  As a congregation in the past and still today you have always prioritized those who society has often forgotten.

The red wagon brought cheer to children in the hospital.

The Quilts of Valor bring joy and pride to veterans not often enough celebrated for their service.

Clearly compassion has played a major role in your outreach and also in your history in community with each other.  This week one member told me a wonderful story about Louise Bittle.  In one Maundy Thursday service past, this member recalled the way Louise washed and then kissed Irv’s hands. 

This memory of Louise symbolizes for me the simplicity and sanctity of compassion rendered to another, to those we know, like Louise’s beloved spouse, Irv, and also to those who are strangers, like those who receive the quilts of valor.  Compassion sometimes is about the simple act of touching one another through the healing touch of Christ and providing for the needs of others.

Some forms and expressions of compassion are counter-intuitive.  For example one form of compassion is the healthy setting of our emotional and care-giving boundaries.  I first learned this taking care of my mother who had Alzheimer’s for eleven years.  Care-givers often give to others out of their grief.  I learned to differentiate between my insatiable need to care for versus my mother’s actual needs.  Persons with Alzheimer’s present enough care needs without our adding our need to do more. In learning this I was able to sustain myself for the eleven years of caring for her with my brothers and sisters. 

During my six years of consecrated religious life I lived with some men who were alcoholics. In those years I learned the necessity of setting healthy boundaries for myself and also for my vulnerable brothers in Christ. Only then was I able to exercise self-discipline and honor my brothers through setting clear boundaries that my brothers could not set for themselves. 

I know you each could tell your own stories of the way you too have compassionately set healthy care-giving boundaries. Whoever wants to be first must offer compassion in these ways to serve a completely dependent mother with Alzheimer’s, vulnerable alcoholics and so many more needy. Sometimes to be effective compassionate ministers, we need to take care of ourselves.

As you see compassion is a demanding ministry that requires both love through both the simple ministry of presence and sometimes a ministry of absence through self-discipline.  As the Gospel teaches today, in order for us to be first we must go through these experiences of being last and learn to be even more compassionate.

It is too early to know for certain, but I have an intuitive sense that compassion in all of its richness and blessing will contribute in some significant way to this congregation’s viability through a new signature ministry. To live into the next form of St. Francis Church’s ministry, we must stay open and continue to learn from each other through the spirit and fruits of compassion. 

Spiritual Freedom: Doing More With Less With Greater Joy

St. Francis Church, Fair Oaks, Sunday September 16, 2012

Text: Mark 8:27-38

Spirit of the Living God Fall Fresh On Me! Congregation Repeats.

Jesus tells his followers if any want to be my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.

Deny yourselves! 

I don’t know about you, but I am not very fond of self-denial.  For most people life is hard enough without voluntarily giving things up.  Growing up working-class, my dad always said, “We don’t have to give anything up because we have got nothing anyway to give up.”  In a different way you may resonate with these sentiments.  You all experienced so many losses these last few years of members and of a rector.  I have so much empathy for you.  It is time for the people of St. Francis Church to have joy, peace and abundant gifts.

So does self-denial have any meaning for this congregation at this time?

I believe self-denial has a very important role in bringing you greater joy.  First, we have to rehabilitate our notion of self-denial.  Many forms of self-denial lead us to following Jesus as a spectator sport.  Many forms of self-denial turn us in on ourselves as we give up things or abstain from something.  Our self-denial often takes energy and sometimes leaves us exhausted.  Jesus has taught that his yoke is easy and his burden is light.  We too often have interpreted self-denial as self-mortification, purification and the work of self-cleansing leading to greater perfection.

The self-denial that Mark emphasizes through Jesus’ words and teaching is a posture that fosters in us a very specific way and manner of being and action. The self-denial that Jesus invites us to participate in is a way that we might be spiritually free.  Jesus’ path always leads from the cross to resurrection. 

When we deny ourselves in healthy ways, we lighten the spiritual baggage that we carry. When we are spiritually free we are not burdened or distracted with our unhealthy desires. We see God’s desires in God’s time. 

Spiritual freedom opens us up to new possibilities and liberates us from our self-imposed burdens, if you will our self-imposed crosses.

For my college graduation in 1978, Bill, my eldest brother took me to Rome, Italy and Dublin, Ireland for a two-week trip.  It was my first trip out of the country.  Bill was an experienced traveler.  Even if he went away for a month he only carried one very small bag with a few changes of clothes that he constantly washed.  I on the other hand packed a reasonably big bag. Our trip was before the days of wheels on bags.  We were on our last day in Rome.  We had checked out of our hotel with our bags and spent the day touring.  My bag was heavy.  At one point I said to Bill, my bag is heavy, will you help me carry it?  Bill, said to me, “you packed it, you carry it”. 

At the time I was a little frustrated with my brother.  Bill, knew it and said to me, you will be able to travel far in life if you manage your needs, desires and travel lightly.  On that last day I was not able to walk around as much as my brother Bill.  It is human to carry more than we need.  Too often we confuse our needs with our desires.  Desires evolve into must have and we lose clarity to our basic needs.  The more we need the less physical and spiritual distance we are able to travel. Lightening our spiritual load is more of a challenge.

The focus of spiritually mature congregations is always on growing their relationship with Christ in community through worship, ministry and fellowship.

Are you familiar with the activities of the Diocese of Northern California? As members of the diocese, we are:

Focused on mission.

Seek to stay together.

Keep moving forward in the name of Christ.

The activities of the Diocese are my desires for St. Francis Church too.

I want to help you focus and reflect on your future mission in ways that responsibly use the resource of your campus so that you may continue your journey in this place. In doing so fellowship that grows your staying together is vital.  It is also vital to keep moving forward in the name of Christ.  One way to move forward with revitalized mission and the privilege to stay together is through spiritual freedom.

Don’t confuse spiritual freedom with the popular psychological notion of letting go.  It is possible to let go and still not be spiritually free.  Letting go requires our human intention.  After that trip to Rome with my brother I quickly learned to pack less and live out of one small bag on my future trips. 

Spiritual freedom requires a shift in what we choose to rely upon and from where we draw our strength.  When we self deny in healthy ways we travel more lightly so that we do not load up our spiritual trucks with lots of unnecessary stuff.  We travel lightly.  To follow Jesus congregations have to travel lightly.

How does St. Francis Church become spiritually free so that its mission for a new generation will be discovered anew?

The first step is to lighten your baggage.  When congregations lose many members as St. Francis Church has over the last decade those who are left often feel an enormous sense of responsibility.  Indeed their/your sense of responsibility is unrealistic.  When people leave churches, those who remain with the church tend to give more and more to make every effort for ends to meet.  Often this process of generous giving of more time and more money exhausts and depletes congregations of all their spiritual and physical energy.  When congregations deplete their energy they are less likely to hear the still voice of the Spirit of God leading them to new forms of wholeness.

I would like to suggest that self-denial for St. Francis Church in this time and in this place is about each of you taking on less.  And feeling better about yourselves as you let go of some things.  It would mean looking for ways to do more with less.  Sometimes it is necessary to find a smaller bag or take a few less things on the journey.  When we do choose to travel more lightly we are amazed by the places we are able to go. 

Empty nesters know this experience.  When all the children leave the home for college and leave to get married, parents often down size because they want to be free to travel lighter.  By carrying less they can do things they never did before.  Money once spent on healthcare and education can now be spent on a special trip.  It may mean just sleeping later for some living more freely without a daily agenda.

I invite each of you to lighten your load and take on a little less individually and collectively.  To borrow from Paul, as we become less, then Christ will become more.  As Christ becomes more we will discover some new pathways through the Spirit’s direction versus our limited capacity to just do more and more. It is a paradox.  As we do less and take better care of ourselves we will be capable of more.  We will see more possibilities.

I am giving you permission to take care of yourselves and of each other.  You don’t need my permission, but sometimes it is helpful to have another person cover us in our blind spots.  We need the most care from each other in our blind spots.  When congregations keep on taking more with fewer people they are operating out of their blind spots. 

In our blind spots we do as we typically do, but the results are not always pleasant.  When we are driving if we do not see oncoming traffic in our blind spots there is great potential for an accident.  Our blind spots create different kinds of accidents where our spiritual energy and capacity is depleted.  Through healthy spiritual denial we grow in our spiritual freedom and diminish our blind spots.

The good news today is that we have the privilege to self deny and so grow into deeper joy through our spiritual freedom.  Only then are we able to take on our ministerial responsibilities and the mission to which we are called.  Jesus was called to carry his cross, as this was his mission.  We will in time know our cross that is our mission.  The first step in picking up our cross is to deny ourselves in this healthy way of doing less.

Spirit of God Lead Us Towards Your Feast

St. Francis Church, Fair Oaks, California, Sunday September 9, 2012

Spirit of the Living God Fall Fresh On Me!  Congregation Repeated with me!

The opening words of today’s collect -- “Grant us, O Lord, to trust in you with all our hearts” simply and eloquently sets forth my vision for the way I will co-minister with you and lead this congregation as your Priest-in-Charge.  Today I want to share with you a few reflections on my role at St. Francis and the way some of my life experiences have prepared me to be with you on your journey at this time in your parish’s history.  Over the next 4-5 weeks I will continue to preach about the journey we are beginning. 

A Priest-in-Charge has all the canonical authority of a rector, but unlike a rector, the Priest-in-Charge position is not a tenured one.  Rectors often stay with congregations for 20-30 years. The Priest-in-Charge is typically with a congregation for a period of 3 years renewable at the end of each year.  Our time is precious!

As Priest-in-Charge it is my desire to shepherd you into your next generation of ministry and mission in The Episcopal Church. In all I do, I will put a spotlight on your distinctive parish identity and on resurrection, Christ’s resurrection and the resurrection of St. Francis Church. The unique gift that I bring to you the people of St. Francis Church is to continually point you towards resurrection. 

Yesterday 75+ people came here to celebrate the life of Moton Bryant Holt.  I preached my first sermon yesterday.  My sermon was on resurrection.  I preached that due to our faith in the resurrection death is transformed.  Some deaths are final.  We all will experience one day the end of our life in death.  Other deaths are a part of our spiritual journey.  A little piece of us dies when we lose somebody we love.  Over and over throughout life we die little deaths that helps us experience resurrection.  

To journey towards resurrection, in the next couple of years we need to steward our time together.  Let’s take a few minutes to reflect on the nature and quality of our specific shared journey that we are beginning with one another.

You have just made an extraordinary journey that not many congregations ever have to face.  You lost Pastor Marcia, your rector.  Several of you have already shared with me that the ministry Pastor Marcia offered to St. Francis Church, led this congregation to a place where you were equipped with the spiritual gifts to grieve her loss.  In this last year you held together in unity as a parish.  You compassionately ministered to one another. 

There is abundant reason for celebration and joy to have come through this year as whole as you have done so.  There is a sense of relief I am sure that you all feel to have completed the journey so well. 

(Take a deep breath)  Let’s celebrate where you have come from.

The Good News is that your spiritual journey has matured you as a congregation.   God however is not done with you or with this congregation or with this church. 

Vacation-like journeys have a beginning and an end.  Spiritual journeys have no end.  Spiritual journeys deepen our connection to God and to one another.  In our spiritual journeys we enter places of greater intimacy with God.  It is through our spiritual journeys that God matures us to become the one we are called to be. 

The one we are called to be is often not the one we planned ourselves to be.  We influence some of the parts of the way we live our life as people and as communities, but God always has surprises for us. When we are willing to trust, God always leads us to places we did not expect to go and sometimes even initially resisted going.  When we follow Jesus we like the disciples at Emmaus always discover Christ resurrected.

Our spiritual journeys are unlike all other journeys that we take. 

My journeys as a kid were always short ones. As a kid I always knew where I was going before I got there. I did not go far, but I knew where I was going before I got there!

Now I think of journey very differently than I did as a kid. The way I thought about journey began to change when I left the Jesuits, the Society of Jesus.  I left the Jesuits with my heart torn between staying and leaving the Society. 

My head told me to stay but the Spirit told me to leave.  As I sat waiting outside my Jesuit superior’s office to sign my papers that would release me from my vows, a priest friend passed by and comforted me. I told my friend that I intended to return to the Society in a year or two.  My friend, a more spiritually mature Jesuit priest, smiled at me and said, “the Spirit has led you to leave the Society of Jesus, Joe, trust the Spirit to lead you and do not turn back unless the Spirit leads you back to the Society.” 

Oh how much I wanted to set the terms of my journey as I left the Jesuits, but I could not.  My life questions required my generous patience and complete trust in the Spirit of God to lead me through a life maze that has led me to many unexpected, grace-filled places on the journey. I had to submit my will and take time to discover God’s hand and direction for my life. I learned to be patient with all that was unresolved in my heart and to love the questions.  That statement I just made has a lived value of 10-15 years of life.  I struggled to give up my hasty, self-willed answers and to cease to manufacture my answers in God’s name. 

All too often I was like the little boy who could not wait for the caterpillar to become a butterfly. The little boy breathed warm air on the caterpillar so that it would quickly become a butterfly.  Indeed, the butterfly soared at the boy’s command. The boy was all a glow with smiles for his achievement.  Then the butterfly crashed to the floor, unable to move its wings and no longer living.  The gestation period from caterpillar to butterfly is typically ten days.  When we are patient with God’s process then we have the privilege to see the glory of God. 

Many times throughout my spiritual journey I was that little boy who hastily breathed warm air on the caterpillar to bring about my desired beautiful butterfly in my time, on my terms and under my power and control.  After several similar tragic errors of judgments I learned to let go.  I learned to patiently live into God’s timing.  I learned to live my questions rather than try to hastily solve my questions.  As I did this I gradually, without noticing it, I lived into who I am today. My journey is not unique. 

St. Francis Church is on a similar spiritual journey. You may be tempted to quickly breathe warm air on the caterpillars in our midst to feed a desire to immediately see a beautiful butterfly fly.  You know better though. You have traveled far and well over the last year. I encourage you to take your time as a congregation and to continue to go deeper.  As we go deeper in our lives and rely more on God and less on ourselves we will be ready to dream more daring dreams with the Spirit who leads us in new and unexpected ways.

St. Francis Church is a mature congregation of fifty plus years.  Your maturity has evolved through your struggles. The Spirit will continue to call you to places that you have not been before.  St. Francis Church is half the size of the congregation it was five years ago.  Loss of membership has not separated you from the love of God or the abundance of God’s grace and blessing.  St. Francis Church continues its spiritual journey as all its members continue to discover new depths of individual and collective meaning with all its associated new and yet unknown possibilities. 

I am here to remind you that as we walk forward into an unknown future, that God is all around us, especially ahead of us. Due to the spiritual journey that I have made in my life I am prepared to be with you on your journey. With you I will listen for the Spirit’s direction manifested in the resources and gifts that are in your hands today. My promise to you is to point each of you in directions where you are more likely to encounter the resurrected Jesus. 

I pray that we let God lead St. Francis Church to the feast God is preparing for you.  I am confident that God has uniquely prepared a very special place for the people of St. Francis Church.  The place God prepares for all of us is always a feast of heavenly and earthly delights.

To witness the glory of God’s feast requires patience with God’s time.

Resist my temptation to return to what was.

Resist the little boy’s urgency to see glory.

Resist seeing St. Francis Church’s best years in the past.

Celebrate your history, but walk with me as we anticipate the future that God is leading us towards.  The Spirit of God will lead us.

As we begin this shared journey together, O Lord, increase our trust in you so that we as a congregation may be ready to sit at your table, in your time, and joyously accept the feast you have prepared for us.