Preached at Trinity Church Reno, Nevada on Sunday, May 6, 2012
“I am the vine and you are the branches…abide in me as I
abide in you.”
The Gospel message appears to be so simple. God is the source of all creation,
being and all love. We as creatures of God are nurtured and nourished when we
abide in God and let God’s Word abide in us.
This coming week The Episcopal Church will celebrate the
feast day of Julian of Norwich.
Julian heard the Lord speaking to her through prayer one day: “I can make all things well; I will make all things well; I
shall make all things well; and thou canst see for thyself that all manner of
things shall be well.” These words to Julian amplify the words of today’s
Gospel. I have had a very hard
time believing in the words to Julian.
Indeed, I have been known by those close to me to laugh at these
words. All will be well. Yeah, right!
I still hear my dad saying to me, “God helps those who help
themselves and you will reap what you plant.” I grew up doubting that unless I worked hard, all would not
be well. I learned that my efforts would be rewarded. Those who lacked just did
not try hard enough. Although I
grew up in an Irish Catholic family, we had a pretty strong Protestant work
ethic.
In case either the Gospel words or the words to Julian still
seem simple to you, I want to share the words of Ignatius of Loyola’s prayer of
generosity.
Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my
understanding, and my entire will, all that I have and possess. Thou hast given all to me. To thee O
Lord, I return it. All is thine, dispose of it wholly according to thy
will. Give me thy love and they
grace, for this is sufficient for me.
Your love and your grace is sufficient for me.”
As a young Jesuit I realized that I could not live these
words. I left the Society of Jesus
in 1986 under the foolish impression that I could put these words behind
me. I had convinced myself that to
live these words one needs to be called to a very special vocation.
In the last eight months of living apart from Stefani as I
worked as a trauma chaplain in North Philadelphia, the words of the Gospel, the
words to Julian and the prayer of Ignatius all came back to me. During these last few months I have
come to the stark realization that it is not easy to live into the invitation
of today’s Gospel.
All of us here, by virtue of being here in this place,
desire to live into the words, “Abide in me as I abide in you”. But what is the impact or if you will
the cost of our choice to abide in Christ? Do we live with the firm conviction that all will be well? If so, do we have the spiritual freedom
to say with all our heart, “Give me only your love and your grace”? To live in these ways is to make real
the Gospel’s words, Abide in me as I abide in you.
The economy makes the message of today’s Gospel very difficult
to believe and live into with our complete freedom. After 146 job rejections in twenty months I am less sure
than ever before of the efficacy that I will reap what I plant. I thought 146
rejections were a lot and once felt sorry for myself until I met people who
have had several hundred rejections in fewer months. Even more startling, did you know that 50% of the class of
2012 college graduates will not have a job or will be underemployed?
Some people are privileged to have a job, but their portfolio
is half or a quarter what it was five years ago. Some cannot afford to retire.
Those retired fear that they will not have enough to meet their most basic
needs. Some have more than enough money, but still search for meaning. More and
more of us live with some sort of quiet anxiety that saps our spiritual
energy. For whatever reason all of
us hunger for the words of today’s Gospel to become real. And yet we often
struggle to non-anxious abide in God.
My anxiety is often expressed in this prayer: Thank you God for the gifts of liberty,
understanding, memory and will.
These gifts are mine. I
will guard these gifts with my life. If you love me God, you will give me more
and more of these gifts. I am
grateful for your love, but your grace is not sufficient for me. Let’s get real God. Your grace will be
sufficient when…you put in your own contingencies. We all have our own pet contingencies that delay our full
response to today’s Gospel invitation.
The last eight months in North Philadelphia re-schooled my
heart’s priorities. African-American matriarchs reminded me of my anchor in
God. These women functioned as the firm anchor in their turbulent families and
neighborhoods. These women embodied the words of the Gospel and pointed to
their anchor. Nothing seemed to test the rock solid faith of these women.
I had the privilege to witness and stand beside a few of
these women when their faith was tested.
Their faith-filled responses brought my lack of faith up short. The remarkable discovery for me was to
see that God was never far from their grief. In the midst of personal storms of loss, these women said
with all their might, your grace is sufficient for me. They did believe with conviction that
all would be well. They abided in
God beyond all else. They were not owned by anything or anybody but their sole
trust in God.
One Saturday night I was called to the ER at 11pm. A man in his mid forties had a heart
attack. He was a loving spouse and
father of five children, ages 5-12. All 5 children sat in their pajamas in the
ER waiting room only to hear that their father died. Anger and rage ripped
through older members of the family and extended family that had gathered.
In the chaos of grief the matriarch of the family was solid,
firm in her unshakeable faith. When she visited with me the body of her dead
son in the medical suite, she vigorously wept. As she wept she also praised God
and asked that she not forget the God who fed her soul at the moment of this
horrific loss.
I remember one of the dead man’s brothers came to the ER and
he was threatening to hurt the doctor.
For a split second he thought I was the doctor. The matriarch moved in and just looked at
her son with a loving, empathetic glance that made this very strong,
potentially violent man pull back.
He was still in rage, but he was calmer.
The matriarch walked closer to him finally just touching his
chest ever so lightly with her fingers bringing him an immediate inner calm. He
fell into her arms like a little child and wept. I will never forget the power of the mother’s silence as
well as her empathetic and loving touch that restored her son to his source. A
few hours later this man supported others in their grief. I saw this kind of matriarchal
transformation every night I was on-call in the ER.
Of course stories such as these are not unique to
African-American matriarchs. Other
people have unshakeable faith too. Yet for me it was the stark contrast of the
poorest of the poor who had nothing, who lost their loved ones that brought my
faith up short and redirected my priorities. The young man who died played an
important role in the family as the sole bread winner, but God was the anchor
for this family that would keep them going.
How do we shed the shackles of our anxious distrust and live
with the radical abandonment necessary to say with all our heart, your grace is
sufficient for me, and all will be well as I abide in you? These are the kind of questions we must
ask ourselves if we are to prepare ourselves to accept God’s invitation to
abide in God’s love. I don’t have
any quick answers. I am still learning to trust in God that all will be well
when I non-anxiously abide in God.
At the same time I have abundant hope that I am not alone in
my anxieties and struggles. Many
throughout our city and nation are beginning to ask fundamental spiritual
questions about where they place their trust. The good news is that none of us
do this spiritual cleansing work alone.
We are strengthened through the Eucharist, our relationships in
community and our ministries that place alternative claim on our gifts. There
is no shame in asking these questions.
The shame is when we trust that the world will satisfy the insatiable
yearning of our hearts. The simple
message and good news of today’s Gospel is that our hearts will not rest until
they rest in you oh God.
